Saturday, April 18

Smokin

So here is the story:
I was recently at the zoo with Jenny and near us there was a man smoking in a non designated smoking area. He obviously knew that he was not supposed to be smoking there as he was trying to hide it from everyone. So Jenny said something to him- something along the lines of 'Excuse me sir- I don't think this is a designated smoking area!' He replied back and there were some bantering back and forth until Jenny won the fight and the man begrudgingly put the cigarette out on his hand and our lungs secretly cheered! (thank you Jenny) This is where the story ends and a new one unfolds....

And now the rest of the story....
I went for a walk about a week later with my other friend Jenn and I was recounting the story to her. We were walking down the street and were almost to the corner when I got to the climax and I loudly exclaimed 'Excuse me sir- I don't think this is a designated smoking area!'
Well I was unaware of the woman and her child across the street- which wouldn't bother me- or them normally except for two things. Number one- this woman was dressed somewhat manly and at a quick glance could have looked like a man and Number two she was smoking. Apparently she looked over at me shocked and surprised as she blew smoke all over her child. And all I could do was whisper 'turn turn turn' to Jenn so we could turn the corner and not have to cross paths.....
So this woman not only thought that I was telling her not to smoke on the street (not such a bad thing) but she also thought that I was calling her a man (not so good...)

So now you know the rest of the story....

For Humor sake I had my friend Jenn write her own rendition of the story so ENJOY!!!


The sequence of events that transpired on this mornings walk according to Jennifer Neeb -

Under a crystal sky in a cool breeze, Cheryl and I took our cherubic toddlers out for a walk to bask in the warm sunshine on this would be perfect day. Cheryl was regaling me with exciting tales of her "girlie road trip" to Michigan last week. As we strolled along Cheryl began to tell a story about a most unfortunate incident at the zoo in when she and her friend Jenny- Weibe (she always calls her by both names. Always.) were accosted by the most pungent insult to the nose, a man smoking in a non smoking zone around their children. As Cheryl became more animated in her tale I glanced across the street we were walking on and thought Cheryl is such a marvelous story teller it is as though I am watching it unfold in front of me. A man-woman as described in the story was curling her lips in front of me, daring me to say something as she blew smoke rings over a small child on a bike. I watched as the remainder of carcinogenic air wafted over us.

...And then Jenny Weibe said "EXCUSE ME SIR THIS DOESN"T LOOK LIKE A SMOKING AREA TO ME!" ...

I watched in horror as Cheryl noticed only now this man-woman in front of us with the thick cloud around her. She continued walking ahead as he/she snarled at us.

"Turn Turn Turn" Horrified, Cheryl pulled us over to the street away from this person who was certain had just been hollered at by Cheryl who was only coincidentally telling a story of the same situation.

Cheryl had been just telling me how proud she was of Jenny- Weibe for standing up for the rights of their lungs. Well Cheryl...it looks like you too, however unintentionally stood up for ours as well (sort of)- for that we thank you (it was also the hardest I have laughed all week...for that I thank you even more)!

2 comments:

  1. I thoroughly enjoy how you had Jenn add her perspective.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like how you made it sound like I was very polite in my asking the stinky man to poison his children elsewhere. That's nice of you. I'm glad I inspired you to insult stinky women too.

    ReplyDelete

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