I would like you all to take a moment out of your day to imagine with me.
Imagine a wonderfully beautiful day outside, the sun is shining, the sky is blue, you can go out without a jacket on but its not so hot that you have to wear a hat or a neck bandanna (more on the neck bandannas to come) so we decide to go outside to play.
I got Rubes all ready and protected from the sun and I strapped Noni on my back.
This is when I realize that I forgot to put a hat on him.
I was too lazy to take him out and put him back in the carrier so I got my trusty sidekick Ruby to do the honors. That was a slight fiasco- she could use a little practice in the hat-putting-on department. We did the best we could with what we had.
When we were finally ready we headed out the back door.
Luckily Jayne was out there- so when Noni's hat fell of 10 seconds into our play time she was able to replace it- no problem. She's got some mad hat-putting-on skills.
Then we all played for a while.
Ruby picked up random pieces of wood and rocks yelling 'its a clue!' every time she found one.
(Keep in mind our park is made of wood chips- so this was a fairly regular occurrence.)
Then one of our neighbors came out - yes the spider loving one from this post- and we all played well together. Despite our differing of opinions.
Then Ruby and Ainsley got distracted from their clue finding and bike riding and they discovered an ant walking on the sidewalk carrying a piece of food. So naturally we all- Jayne, me, and our neighbor- went over to take a look. Ants are pretty amazing creatures. We were all forming a circle around the ant- discussing it with the kids.
This is when I had the overwhelming urge just to step on it.
so I did.
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NOT.
But Ruby did.
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NOT.
Wouldn't that have been super shocking though?
It made me laugh later when I thought about what would have happened if I had done that.
Or if Ruby (my sidekick) had done that.
I did have the overwhelming urge to step on that poor ant. But then I reminded myself that I am no evil bug killing monster. Despite what my neighbor may think.
I had to walk away... it wouldn't have been fair to the ant.
But I can imagine the look of utter shock and horror on my neighbors face. It would have been priceless. What would he have said or done?
Imagine with me will ya?
And have a good laugh while you are at it.
I'll tell you what you do next time a similar opportunity presents itself. With everyone gathered 'round on hands and knees observing a fascinating critter, get really close to the bug like you're really interested in it's tiny little world. You can say something like "hey little guy, I bet that big leaf is really heavy for yo!." Then jump up and cover your eye and scream "AHHHHH!!! IT GOT ME!!!! IT GOT ME WITH IT'S ACID BREATH!!! IT'S ACID BREATH OF DEATH!!!! RIGHT IN MY EYE!!! KILL IT!!! KILL IT OR YOU'RE NEXT!!!! Then if no one will kill it for you, start stomping all over like you're trying to kill it but you can't find it- what with the ant acid breath having been breathed in your eye - then comes the crowning moment: say "YOU'RE TIME IS UP!! IT'S TIME TO PAY THE PIPER!!!" And jump right on your neighbour's hand. That way he'll think you were trying to stomp the ant and you stomped his hand by mistake! It's the perfect way to get your revenge without any hard feelings.
ReplyDeleteWow Justin. That's a super fabulous idea.
ReplyDeleteYou wrote this post for me. It spoke to me.
ReplyDeleteAnd then I laughed...out loud.
True story...
My young son, who you may know from such places as playdates at my house, and I were walking when we saw a lovely furry catapillar. We stopped and talked about it and how one day it will turn into a butterfly and all the metaphor a two year old mind could handle. He looked at it lovingly, stroked it gently and then without warning stomped it's guts out.
Don't worry, I understand if we have had our last playdate. I knew I ran that risk when I shared that story.