Saturday, May 30

Recent Email

For those of you who received this earlier today- I apologize. But it was funny enough that I thought everyone would enjoy it again. Plus it means a guest blogger! Even though I just copied and pasted this from my email against Justins will- one day he will thank me.....

This is my talented husband and his recent writings....

Oh yes, it's that time again.  Please update your rolodex's with our new digits.  But you can put an expiry date on those numbers as we will have new ones again in September.  Some might say "why should I go to the trouble of entering these numbers in my cell phone if they're just going to change again in 3 short months?"  Well let me paint a little picture for you... you are driving to Edmonton to take a ride on Blue Thunder, or some other waterslide at West Ed that may or may not exist (note, doesn't apply to you Dave, as you already live there.  you can pretend you're driving to Calgary to spend some time in a city that isn't crappy).  Anywho, you're driving along, listening to Bryan Adams' summer of '69, passing under the Crossfield overpass when the Alberta winds combine against you and your nose-holes are simultaneously assaulted by the pungent odors of the sour gas plant, the mushroom factory, and the pig farm.  You sharply veer left in a foolish attempt to avoid the offensive odors that are laying siege to your smeller, and you plunge headlong into a June snowdrift on the side of the road.  As you sit there somewhat dazed, trying to see through your tears caused by the nasty smelly-ness that is Crossfield, you notice - and this is where it gets wierd - tiny little buggies crawling on your windshield!!  As you look closer, you notice that they are slowly eating through your windshield!  Whaza whaza?  "what kind of bugs can eat through windshieds?"  Then you remember reading an article in the 'Daily Entomolgist' talking about a rare glass-eating bug that only emerges when warm and cold conditions are combined, such as in the case of an Alberta June snowstorm.  Now as the little glass eaters get closer and closer to finishing off your windshield, you remember the second, and much more disturbing, part of the article you read "The name 'glass eater' is a bit of a misnomer, as these terrifying insects also prey on humans.  They should really be called 'insects that eat glass and also prey on humans' (name change currently under review by the bug board).  The glass eater enters the ear of its prey and travels down to the stomach where it causes any undigested watermelon seeds to grow into full sized watermelons in a matter of seconds."  Now you think back to the last time you ate a watermelon... was it Friday at the BBQ?  Was it seedless?  What about those soft, white seeds?  Do they count?  Too many questions, and no time!!!!  You have to think fast, those angry watermelon-growth-inducing meanies are about to break through and then it may all be over.  So you reach for your trusty cell phone to call for help.  But who do you call?  Even if the police make it in time, their firearms are useless against them!  (note the Tommy Boy reference).  Then you remember that Justin & Cheryl live in Crossfield for the summer and you just programmed their numbers into your cell phone that morning.  You call them up and ask for help.  Justin & Cheryl, in their nearly infinite wisdom, know exactly what to do.  They run down limit ave to fire up the air raid siren in the middle of town.  They have dealt with watermelon growth bugs before and they know from experience that this is the only way to .  The air raid siren has a 4 mile radius - just far enough to kill off the bugs that are about to invade your ear-holes.  You are saved!!!!  All because you took the time to read this email and program their numbers into your phones!!!

No thanks needed.  We just did what any mild mannered couple would have done in a similar situation.

Have a great day.  Stay tuned for September when the new and even more exciting Ontario phone numbers reach your inboxes...and your hearts.

Lots of Love,

Justin, Cheryl, and Rubletts..... and the other one!               

(I deleted the numbers for privacy purposes- but if you do need them then email me!!!!)

Oh Yah- and thats the other good news---- we are expecting another little one in JANUARY!!


  1. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!! Congratulations! (I can finally say it out loud!) I am so excited for you guys - and p.s. I was laughing when I read this! Miss you guys!

  2. ahahahahahahaha! This was so amusing :)

  3. I had to read that post 37 times to fully grasp it. Very profound.

    An OTHER one! Yaaaa How exciting...okay so I already knew but I couldn't let that detail you snuck in go uncommented on!

  4. Yeah for the "other one." You know that's what I'm going to call the little Snelldog for the rest of his or her life! All I'm saying is it had better be the opposite sex of whatever I am having so that they can marry too. (Too, as in, Eli and Ruby are destined, mostly because of the wicked awesome slideshow they will have!)

  5. Wow, that is a great description of Crossfield - "when the Alberta winds combine against you and your nose-holes are simultaneously assaulted by the pungent odors of the sour gas plant, the mushroom factory, and the pig farm". I laughed so hard when I read that. Well written Justin!! :)

    AND CONGRATS you guys! #2 on his/her way! That's so exciting! YAY!

  6. Embarassingly enough I am pretty sure the slide is called Blue Bullet if it still exists. That was all too funny. Oh how I miss you guys. Honestly if I ever came across "insects that eat glass and also prey on humans" I would think of calling none other than the Snelldogs.

    "If there's something strange
    Near the Crossfield hood
    Who ya gonna call?
    I ain't afriad of no BUGS"


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